Her Forgiveness, His Salvation
by JustWolfy1
Summary: A SasuSaku one shot to the song Hate Me by Blue October. Be gentle this one has special meaning :) Rated M for Drug use and just to be safe.


**Hate Me**

 **I decided to rewrite this story. After reading it back its just full of bad writing and ick lol So same story just rewritten. I know the song is about a guy and his mother. But in this story it's between Sakura and Sasuke.**

 **I will be a bit dark as the inspiration from this comes from my own personal life. I hope you enjoy**

Sasuke frowned as he listened to Sakura's sweet voice on their answering machine. He didn't deserve her loyalty or love. After everything he put her through after he was rescued from Orochimaru.

She should hate him. He wanted her to hate him, because he hated himself. He hated the way she looked at him, the way she checked up on him, the way she still loved him after everything he put her through.

For the first time in a long time he let the past flood over him.

 _FLASHBACK_

 _His mind showed him clips of the past. Sakura yelling, Sakura crying and pleading with him to get help. Sakura taking care of him when he was too drunk or withdrawing from the drugs._

 _He'd been sober for going on 9 month. It was something she had helped him with. The drugs were the one thing that tore them apart. He'd promised her he'd never touch it again. She meant too much to him to go back to his old mistress._

 _She'd helped him through the worst of it. Not allowing him to dwell on anything. For an entire week she didn't leave his side. He was so grateful to her._

 _Another horrible memory entered his mind. The night he chose the drugs over her._

 _He'd been out with old friends and got sucked into old habits. Even though they knew he was trying to stay sober. Like a month to a flame he was sucked in._

 _He came home around 3 am absolutely loaded._

 _Sakura knew. She'd known from the moment he walked in the door. Sasuke went to kiss her and she turned her head away from him. The look of hurt, of absolute betrayal on her pretty face should of cut him to the bone, but the drugs numbed his emotions._

 _FLASHBACK_

 _She stood there fixing me with a glare. "Where have you been Sasuke?" She asked._

 _He smirked at her, "No where, and everywhere." He said flopping down on the bed. He reached a hand out to her. She reluctantly went to him. He tried to pull her on top of him, but she snatched her hand back._

 _Frowning he sat up. "What?" He asked._

 _She shook her head and chewed on her lip, tears forming in her eyes. "I cant do this anymore Sasuke." Sakura said._

" _Don't say that!" Sasuke said jumping to his feet. When she refused to let him touch her, he suddenly got angry._

" _Don't say that!" He shouted picking up a glass from the bedside table and throwing it across the room where it hit the wall and shattered into a million tiny pieces._

 _She was so use to his drug induced rages that she barely flinched._

" _We had a deal Sasuke." She said in a warning tone. Sasuke sighed and sat down on the bed._

" _I'm sorry.." He said simply grabbing her hand and pulled her toward him._

" _Please babe…I'm sorry." He said resting his head against her stomach. Sakura resisted the urge to touch his head, to forgive him, to give into what he wanted._

" _I love you." Sasuke whispered against her shirt._

 _Sakura scoffed and rolled her eyes, "No you don't."_

 _Sasuke lifted his head, and glaring at her growled, " Alright I don't." He pushed her back._

" _Who are you! Some sort of fucking policeman? I did one fucking line so what!" He snarled jumping to his feet. Sakura stepped back but held her ground._

" _What about yesterday? Or the day before?" She asked crossing her arms._

" _Nothing. I did nothing I promise." He said touching her face with his too warm hands. Another sign he'd been using._

 _Sakura wanted to believe him. She wanted to believe that he'd only done that one line. But she knew better._

 _With a sigh she pushed his hands from her face, "I don't believe you."_

 _He was suddenly furious again. Who the fuck was she to interrogate him._

" _You don't believe me huh! You don't believe me!" He snarled pushing her back up against the bedroom wall._

" _You don't want to believe me! You don't want to believe me because you just want to say you're fucking Sasuke Uchiha!" He snarled pinning her hands above her head with one hand on her throat._

 _Sakura knew better then to fight back, trying to push him away would only enrage him farther._

" _Sasuke get your hands off me." She said her voice perfectly calm._

 _He glared at her but released her and stepped back. Sakura moved over to the other side of the room to put more space between them. Suddenly aware of what just happened he turned toward her._

" _I'm sorry. I need you so much don't make me do this." He said walking toward her again._

 _Sakura looked at him, really looked at him. He wasn't the man she'd loved since they were kids. He wasn't the same Sasuke. Whatever had happened in the time he was with Orochimaru had changed him. Damaged him in a way she couldn't fix._

" _I don't make you do anything. I wish I could." Sakura said fighting tears again. "You take care of me, you love me." He said taking her face in his hands and kissing her forehead._

 _Sakura leaned into him despite herself. He leaned his forehead against hers and said, "Do you have $30?" He chuckled and stepped back sticking his hands in his pockets, "I don't have any money, why don't I ever have any money."_

 _Sakura almost gave in. Almost believed him until light caught the shine of a small vial in his hand. She took it from him before he could stop her._

" _This is what makes you do everything Sasuke! Its not me, its this! This shit holds you!", She said holding the small vial between them._

" _No. Come on Sakura." Sasuke scoffed._

 _Sakura shook her head, "This….or me." She whispered. He rolled his eyes, "Sakura come on."_

" _Sasuke…this….or me." She said sadly her voice barely above a whisper. She knew the answer but still prayed he'd change his mind._

 _He kissed her lightly. Her heart foolishly fluttered, assuming he chose her. She wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing his neck and hugging him. All too soon her reality was shattered as he reached behind her back and pulled the vile from her hand._

 _Sakura grabbed his wrist as soon as he took it from her. "NO! Sasuke no!" She whimpered._

 _Sakura sank to the floor as he stepped away from her. Sakura lost whatever hold she still had on her emotions, put her face in her hands and cried. Hard. Harder then she'd ever cried before._

 _Sasuke numbly grabbed his jacket and walked out of their small two bedroom apartment. He pretended he didn't hear her scream. "HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME!" as he shut the door on his life._

Sasuke was so lost in his own mind that he didn't hear her come in.

"Hey." She said tentatively. She could feel his mood before she walked in. He looked up as if seeing her for the first time. He was so overcome with emotions he jumped to his feet and pulled her into a tight hug.

Sakura gasped at first. The relaxed and wrapped her arms around his waist. "I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry for everything." He whispered. He pulled back and took her face in his hands again.

She smiled at him, "I love you." She said simply. She didn't need to say anything more he knew she forgave him. Loved him. For the first time in a very very long time he felt whole.

 **I don't know if this was better then the original, or really any different it just flows better in my opinion! Also for those who asked I will write a part two. Just because you asked so nicely**


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